Obviously Lumiere is bi! And bi and poly exist. But like. I would honestly have been... well, okay, not totally OK with them collapsing some various implicit shit, but at least at peace with it, if it gave us canonical Lumiere and Cogsworth.

But no. No, we're gonna go with the lazy, not even a tiny bit revolutionary option of textualising queer coding. SURE. WHY NOT. Why should anyone hope for something more than scraping the absplute fuckcing bottom of the barrel re: representation. *BITTER LAUGHTER HERE*