I was always told by people that I'm a leader or should be, and for me being a leader always meant that wherever possible, never ask of people what you are not willing to do yourself. I can't ask people to give me emotional labour, or support, or help, unless I'm willing to give it as well.
To me a leader is someone who does what they can to make sure everyone in the "community" is happy, healthy, and safe, to the best of my ability. It's not about getting my own way, or having everyone do what I want, but putting the needs of the community first in such a way as to make everyone succeed.
Sometimes that means being forceful or aggressive, but more often than not it is about offering support, assistance, and then getting out of the way. It's about helping other people get a chance in the spotlight.