(no subject)

[alexseanchai]

pet peeve du jour: somebody telling me I misunderstood them and then refusing to clarify. I think I'd rather be ignored altogether.

Comments

[conuly]

OH I HATE THAT SO MUCH.

[alexseanchai]

like

if you want me to understand, then please help me to understand? if you do not want to expend time or effort on helping me to understand, then why do you want to expend time and effort on making sure I know I didn't?

(general you obv)

[redrikki]

The real question is, did you actually misunderstand or did they just want to make you feel small and stupid?

[alexseanchai]

wouldn't know, would I? they didn't wanna clarify.

(which does rather suggest the latter, yes)

[redrikki]

What a jerk. Them. Not you. Just to make that clear.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

I think we have a winner redrikki and alexseanchai (iirc that's just the streamlined alternate peopling link not a summoning spell. Advise if I'm wrong.)

Bless their heart, those that want to cut you down to their size. "Make you feel big, punching down?"

[alexseanchai]

Dreamwidth doesn't summoning spells 🙂

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

Yes, once it went through I could see the little user icons and I was pretty sure it wouldn't "You've got Mail" or I wouldn't have used it.

I have figured out part of my autowrong interjection problems- I'm doing a bunch of platforms and it's like driving musical chairs style- you change cars at the light.

[fred_mouse]

aargh. I deal with someone like that a lot. They get huffy at me for not understanding perfectly the first time.

I really need a Kate Bishop icon...

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

I think it's the kids (are all right) that say "mood"

Re: I really need a Kate Bishop icon...

[fred_mouse]

Yup.

[alexseanchai]

and like, maybe the problem is you!

maybe it's them.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

Some people like to wind people up like pulling wings off flies and then "told you, Unstable".

[fred_mouse]

Well, there is definitely a problem with me - poor hearing and auditory processing - but they *know* that (or they've failed to notice for decades...)

Winston, well known cat herder and willonly bepushed sofar good man strides in looking for bubblegum

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

That's either Uncool (I don't have a closer umpire icon than Winston) and related to my wings off flies, or they are very unobservant. That has a conditional diagram too difficult to render in words.

I'm thinking up AU versions of your icon. Send help! (Like, Clone Jim Ellison help ;)

Before committing a social science, get your human research paperwork in order! This is a simulated sig line.

Re: Winston, well known cat herder and willonly bepushed sofar good man strides in looking for bubbl

[fred_mouse]

'very unobservant' is closer to the line. I will note that since I made this whinge, they've not actually done it once, and we've had one of those conversations where we weren't making any sense to each other. So it isn't an all the time thing!

Re: Winston, well known cat herder and willonly bepushed sofar good man strides in looking for bubbl

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

Yeah, much as that no man's land from elsewhere in the thread (if it's not in another conversation...) very unobservant persons are the spoilers actual bad actors hide behind.

[alexseanchai]

basically what Peoria said? like you are already doing everything you could reasonably do on your end to make your understanding others' vocal communication easier, right, and their failing to do basic disability-accommodation stuff doesn't actually make them look any better here

[fred_mouse]

Yes. But I was probably more in the 'grump' phase of having just had it happen, and wasn't actually being all that fair. It doesn't happen as often as it used to, and what we have is a mismatch in ways we cope.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

That is a problem. I've hit sensitive spots that I could tell I had right after but couldn't sway the situation before I got a tongue lashing.

[fred_mouse]

Fortunately, on this occasion neither of us gave the other a tongue-lashing! A bit of an eye-roll, and spending time in different rooms.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

*the subjects learn* Do you have gotten black and white educational films? (English doesn't have the tense I need. Here it was common for science educational materials to be made once and then be used well past the soft cultural cues being apt. That's mostly calmed itself, though that means some places have no science materials or cast off even more wildly misfit those very films...)

[pauamma]

Yeah, that's irritating at best.

[edenfalling]

Much sympathy!

Deliberately vague negative feedback is so frustrating. Like, somebody once told me one of my stories had "several typos" in it, and then didn't tell me what or where they were. How is that meant to be helpful? Either keep your* mouth shut or give me actionable details!

*generic you, not you you

[alexseanchai]

indeed

[silveradept]

Presumably, if you're going to tell someone that they've gotten something wrong, you're invested in their understanding.

Unless the you in this case just wants to feel smug and superior or like a tortured artist that nobody understands, at which point their knees look like a good point to attack.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

Depends on how louche they are. They may be in a Pre-Raphelite kneel swoon, in which case the knees are harder to attack and not as meaningful. Like Leela, you might take the route to the heart via the stomach.

But Dentists that let their patients chew gum recommend no typo notification without providing sufficient location information. =)

[silveradept]

That should be a "you" in whose knees get hit, to be consistent with the "you" who wants to feel tortured or smug, but yes, point taken that stabbing someone is very context-dependent.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

The typo fairy visited! Sorry, I was focused on conveying proper combat arts and my reins slipped on the matching aspect grammar.

May your problems be not apostrophes in wrong places.
EDIT2:Sorry, it's actually a camera shift/pov change. I learned more grammar in foreign languages than in English classes. Took me forever to notice basketball games had two cameras/the switching of ends.
EDIT:Oh, that's a singular they, since I want to allow for all genders including not included. Would thou like to change so our time periods match more closely. ;)

[silveradept]

It happens. Although it does seem like "thou" was a useful thing to have in the language, along with "ye", so far there wasn't much confusion about the number of entities and how formal the speaker felt.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

On further rereading, my 'they' was from your 'their'. (So frequently I'll see people switch order in a dependent phrase with multiple elements. When it's official, it's no wonder people are wary of trick questions.

[alexseanchai]

I learned more grammar in foreign languages than in English classes

I mean, same

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

That's probably more likely than not for anyone that started school after 1960. Additionally there's that much of taught English grammar was formulated for Latin and doesn't allow for the languages being very different.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

I think someone is exploiting the No mans' Land (please, workshop that punctuation if you like) between Old Enough Fen, who like concrit and Anti-Beta-without-Consent Fen. Not everyone is aware about typo fairies and their What Is This Historical Period Now?! kin/kith. I was there, after the start of Perpetual September, when a veteran was still able to take a newbie to confidence. Let not the term vanish. (Has someone published an answer about the 3rd Victorian container? Will also accept reference as to whether it's 3rd to salt & pepper, or if it's with mustard, jam, sugar or another category.)

Why yes, I'm going to be this way, we're entering 2020. It's going to get very confusing what with mustache wax, competitive lindyhop and records. When you truncate aka '20, context will be requiring Detection Skills. ;)

[alexseanchai]

hey I like concrit too

it's just if the first you encounter the fic you're concritting is when it's on AO3, and we're not talking about typos I can fix within fifteen seconds of noticing you've said where they are, the time for concrit has passed and I did not want any from you! you know?

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

Anti-Beta-without-Consent Fen includes Considers Typo Mentions Rude.

Clearly, I read a fic and everything is Do Not Want, I'm going to back button. At this point, unless I know the fan is good with typo mentions, I don't.

Similarly, I see tagging that suggests there may be prolific typos and other not my cuppa, I don't click.

I don't want to harsh squee but I also have an apostrophe misplacement aversion. Iirc, it was the New York Times' style book that's spread the 80's construction of its pages and into even historical markers (well, the historical didactic signs.)

I didn't used to construct concrit so broadly yet time changes.

[alexseanchai]

oh gotcha 🙂