Re: the second one, I would also think about your framing of the POV - why is ze telling this story, and how is ze structuring it? If the way zir conception of zir gender is changing is a major thread in the story, then ze might choose to use female pronouns at first in the retelling, and make the switch part of the arc of how ze learned who ze was; if the story as ze's shaping it is mostly not about gender, though, ze might just go with something like 'back then ze didn't know that ze was an option, but ze knew that 'she' didn't work' and then carry on with ze/zir.