I don't know how to email-post a poll

[alexseanchai]

So answer in comments please:

(1) How worried should I be about making sure every instance of Rae-PoV narration pronouns referring to Rae are ze/zir instead of she/her, given that ze's female-agender genderfluid? I keep writing zir as she/her. It's a pain.

(2) When talking about Rae before ze found out about genderqueer, should I use she/her pronouns, or (since it's present-day Rae narrating still) stick with ze/zir?

Comments

[serpentine]

For number one, if you're okay with waiting to fix the ones you miss in editing, I wouldn't worry about it a lot, but if it's bothering you while you work on the story, then making sure might be your best bet. It'd be a personal preference issue for me in cases like this.

As for number two, it would depend on how ze thinks of zirself when referring to zirself in the past. If ze thinks that ze has always been genderqueer and prefers to think of zir old self as genderqueer, then I'd use ze/zir. But if zir thinks of zirself as female before learning about genderqueer stuff, then I would use she/her.

[alexseanchai]

nods Thanks for the opinion!

[sharpeningthebones]

^ Are pretty much my opinions as well.

[alexseanchai]

Thanks!

[melannen]

Re: the second one, I would also think about your framing of the POV - why is ze telling this story, and how is ze structuring it? If the way zir conception of zir gender is changing is a major thread in the story, then ze might choose to use female pronouns at first in the retelling, and make the switch part of the arc of how ze learned who ze was; if the story as ze's shaping it is mostly not about gender, though, ze might just go with something like 'back then ze didn't know that ze was an option, but ze knew that 'she' didn't work' and then carry on with ze/zir.

[alexseanchai]

In this bit, Rae's relating childhood memories that don't have a hell of a lot to do with gender. "Ze was six when zir father died; ze remembers it clearly" vs "She was six when her father died; ze remembers it clearly" sort of thing.

[kaberett]

If your main reason for wanting to occasionally use feminine pronouns is that you keep forgetting not to, I'd suggest that's not ideal grounds for choosing to use gendered pronouns?

I refer to myself in the past with GNP and my chosen name, not my given name.

Boilerplate: my gender is not the same as Rae's.

[alexseanchai]

Yeah, that makes sense.

*nodnod*

[myaibou]

Who's your audience? If your audience is the queer community or people already familiar with this term, you're good. If your audience is wider, it could be really offputting, not necessarily because of the gender issues but because of language issues. I'm probably about as up on transgender issues as a straight, cisgendered, not-actively-part-of-the-community person could be, and I find "ze/zir" etc. difficult to read. I understand the *whys* behind the creation of the term, but English just doesn't have a gender neutral pronoun that's widely used yet, and so my brain still stumbles across it, and it could be enough to pull me out of the story so much I give up reading.

So really, a lot depends on your audience and your goal. If you're looking to really broaden the minds of cisgendered people who haven't really considered the issues transgendered people face, you might want to think about how big of bites of new stuff your audience will accept without getting frustrated and giving up. If you're going for something more radical or your audience is more narrowly targeted, then that's a whole different story.

[alexseanchai]

I'm not honestly sure. I wonder if I'd have an easier time if I changed Rae's pronouns to 'they'?

[myaibou]

I don't know how well that would work, either, from Rae's POV. "They" tends to be the gender neutral we use for generalizations rather than specific individuals, since most specific individuals have a gender pronoun that would be appropriate for them, and it seems even more awkward for someone referring to themselves.

You could always switch to first person. Then it would be "I/me" from Rae's POV and whatever pronoun other people would use when you're in their POV (a stubborn conservative father could insist on she well a friend from the queer community could use ze and it would come off more as a personality quirk for the uninitiated.)

If you're first-person adverse, not really sure. I think you just need to go with your gut. If you're in the character's head, they (see, generic they ) will speak for themselves. Go with that.

[alexseanchai]

kaberett's singular pronoun is 'they'. So I know for a fact it's a thing, if not necessarily a common thing. But then genderqueerness itself is an uncommon thing.

The thing about first person is I plan to do multiple PoVs. So if one person's PoV is in first person, either they all have to be, which opens me up to fun with distinguishing Rae scenes from Becca scenes from whoever else scenes, or I have to awkwardly switch from first to third and back, which--I can't put my finger on why I'm cringing but I'm cringing.

[alexseanchai]

Did you reply-by-email that? Because if so, I need to poke somebody about a bug in reply-by-email; the text of the comment replied to isn't supposed to show in the comment reply.

[myaibou]

Sorry about that. Hit reply on the e-mail by mistake and then I don't know what it did. Re-replied in the website with what I intended to write.

[myaibou]

Well, you know more than I do about gender queer issues, so if it's something people use and it feels right, go for it.

It is totally possible to do first person for multiple POV characters. You can give each section a subtitle to name whose POV you're in. It works if the story is very much about what's happening internally with the characters. I used it for His & Hers, switching back and forth between Danny and Sam and it worked for that story.

That said, a lot of people are first person adverse. It calls attention to itself and might not be right for your story.

[alexseanchai]

*nods*

Yeah, I know it's possible, I just haven't done it and am not sure I trust my writing skills to do it well, you know?

[myaibou]

Go with your gut. If it feels wrong, it probably is for your story.

[alexseanchai]

nods Thanks