alexseanchai | (no subject)

Know what kills the porning mood? Going to the bathroom, coming back, and discovering that in the thirty seconds you were gone your file's been closed and at no point in the past two hours did you think to save.

Know what really kills the porning mood? Getting a thirty-minute lecture on why porn shouldn't be open on a family computer even when everybody else in the house is occupied in some other room, why thinking about sex should be reserved for when you and he are desperately in love and already married and ready to have babies, why having or thinking about or (God forbid) writing about sex in any other situation is evidence that you've been badly hurt by something—I don't remember what all Mom said, I stopped processing five minutes in.

I can't stop shaking.

She wonders why I don't tell her my secrets and I conduct all my social interaction is on the Internet. Everything I don't tell her is something that she'd hurt me with if she knew, as proven by every time she finds out something I haven't told her she hurts me with it, and on the Internet, there are sane people.