tw epic massive transphobia

[alexseanchai]

MOTHER.

So I woke up and came downstairs and she was at the living room computer and I went to give her a hug. (Probably my first mistake. But I like having human contact.) And I happened to see what she was typing. Disqus comment on something or other. I forget the exact words, but it went something like, people who think of their gender as "assigned at birth" (complete with sneer quotes) and don't want to be called "he" or "she" should be referred to as "it", because these people are "dehumanizing themselves" (quote marks mine, not hers)—and that's about as far as she'd gotten.

UM HI MOTHER I AM RIGHT HERE.

I am going to be straight up fucking disowned when I tell her I'm genderqueer, aren't I. Because I'm not fucking cis and therefore I am, through my own doing, not fucking human.

ETA: I love my sisters. I put this same rant on Facebook, the realname account on which Mom is blocked, and asked middle sister for a hug. Youngest sister saw it first and came gave me a hug and said "Don't listen to her" and pointed Mom's way. Then middle sister saw it and came gave me a hug and said "You're not an 'it'." <3 :)

Comments

[rootsofthestories]

Fuck. That.

I hope you are happy today. I hope you can manage it despite of her bemuse you know what they say about living well being the best revenge and all that.

[alexseanchai]

"Happy" seems a bit of a reach right now, but maybe I'll go for a walk and try to cry it out and then calm down and then we'll see about happy.

[rootsofthestories]

When happy is hard, I strive for content. You can find contentment in small things like a cup of tea or that walk you mentioned.

Good luck, my dear. I wish you nothing but the best

[alexseanchai]

Thanks

[madgastronomer]

Oh, sweetie. I am so very sorry. Hugs, if you want them.

[alexseanchai]

Hugs, thanks.

[syderia]

That sucks. I'm sorry.
*hugs*

[alexseanchai]

Hugs, thanks

[shipwreck_light]

Your mother. My hippie mother. Cagematch. My mother paddles yours with a spatula. Problem not solved, but I bet we both feel better.

[alexseanchai]

You made me laugh, which is definitely an improvement, so. :)

[redsixwing]

fuck THAT noise.

*hugs*

[alexseanchai]

Hugs, thanks.

[amaebi]

Your life in the role of Secret Enemy Spy-- assigned to you by one you involuntarily infiltrated. :(

I am so horribly sorry. :(

[alexseanchai]

Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Thanks for the sympathy.

[ofearthandstars]

I am sorry, that sucks so very much. :(

[alexseanchai]

Yes, very.

HOLY HANNNAH!

[dialecticdreamer]

Your mother, I swear, I pray I never run into her in real life, because as soon as someone says that in front of me I'd be IN her face and arguing that she's a flat-out ignorant bigot... I'm very sorry if that hurts your feelings, because, well, family is kind of a bundle of contradictions, isn't it?

I would NOT let that kind of... sigh. Sorry, again, the kindest word I can use is IGNORANCE, just because HOW BLOODY DARE SHE decide for the whole rest of the world how THEY perceive their own gender?

Look for people who love you for who you are, and who want to help you grow. Don't let biological ties strangle other, nontraditional ones.

Hugs if you want them, of course.

Re: HOLY HANNNAH!

[alexseanchai]

Hugs, thanks.

And yeah, she is an ignorant bigot, with no interest in being anything else. It's really frustrating to deal with her, to put it mildly.

[umadoshi]

That's awful. *hugs*

[alexseanchai]

Hugs, thanks.

[tptigger]

*hugs*

[alexseanchai]

Hugs, thanks

[redbird]

That stinks.

[alexseanchai]

Yes.

[everbright]

That sounds really miserable for you, I'm sorry it happened.

[alexseanchai]

Yes.

Thanks.

[pauamma]

Bleh.

[alexseanchai]

Yes.

[untonuggan]

here, bearing witness.

that's really horrible.

one of the things i hate about dealing with my father is that I know how awful he has been to me and how awful he can be in general, but somehow a piece of me still wants crumbs of affection, and feels very hurt when he is awful. like, self, you should know how he is by now. but that societal/psychological "he's my father and therefore our relationship should be like X and every time it's not it hurts all over again" thing really sucks.

it would be nice if i could just legitimately not care, but i suspect that would carry its own kind of grief.

i don't know if that is what things are like with you, but i just wanted to share, because it is hard and hurtful and confusing to have fucked up parental dynamics.

[alexseanchai]

I hear you.

[silveradept]

Ugh! *hugs* if you want them.

[alexseanchai]

Hugs, thanks.