Advice Day meme from liv

[alexseanchai]

I invite you to give me some advice. Any kind at all. I promise I will consider it seriously, and not argue about why it's impossible or unreasonable. Go ahead!

Comments

[esmenet]

I advise eating more sweet things, or things with a good strong flavor; I myself find them a terrific mood-booster.

[alexseanchai]

Good thought, thanks.

[joshuaorrizonte]

Cry when you need to cry.

And if you have jerkass coworkers, write yourself a short story about contracting the flu and then intentionally sneezing all over their keyboard. Not to replace taking steps to rectify the situation that's making them a jerk, but ime, it sure does make you feel better in the short term.

[alexseanchai]

*nod*

Win.

[hagsrus]

Never play poker with a dog with yellow eyebrows called Doc at a place called Mom's.

[alexseanchai]

I'll keep that in mind.

here via network

[onlysmallwings]

Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

Also (somewhat Southern in vernacular) don't gloat, it makes you look ugly.

Re: here via network

[alexseanchai]

*nod*

*nodnod*

[madgastronomer]

"Never... no... Always... check your sources." (Sometimes, you just have to quote Real Genius, and neither the line about Socrates nor the one about the temple, the sun-god robes and the little pickles are actually advice, as such.)

[alexseanchai]

*nods*

Real Genius?

[madgastronomer]

You haven't seen Real Genius???

New advice: Watch Real Genius.

Very young Val Kilmer plays one of the ten smartest people in the world, finishing college at a school suspiciously like CalTech (seriously, my wife, who went to CalTech, loves to narrate it with every single thing that's borrowed from the real school;). It includes many classic lines, such as:

"You have to get even with Kent! It's a moral imperative!!"

"Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?"
"No."
"Why am I the only one who has that dream?"

"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "... I drank what?""

"Your colon: What does it look like?"

"Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?"
"No."
"A girl's got to have her standards."

There's a spaceborn assassination laser with a giant spinning mirror, a hyperactive girl who sands her own floor and knits sweaters overnight while being utterly brilliant and inventing all kinds of things, the biggest Jiffy-Pop ever, a guy who lives in the walls and enters the Frito-Lay sweepstakes one million six hundred and fifty thousand times, and smart people on ice. You must watch it.

[alexseanchai]

Sounds like fun. I now have a hold on the one copy of the DVD in the library system.

[madgastronomer]

Excellent. Let me know what you think.

[highlyeccentric]

Before concluding that you have locked yourself into an unfamiliar shed, try pulling all the doors INWARDS.

[alexseanchai]

Heh. Yes.

[silveradept]

Read to your children, whether your children or nieces and nephews, or other children, if you have them. Even better, read them subversive and silly books, instead of Dick and Jane books.

[alexseanchai]

*nodnod*

[amaebi]

I advise you to have a nice cup of tea.

[alexseanchai]

Ooh, good idea.