realization at like four yesterday morning, as told to Tumblr

so I’m on my tablet and I opened Chrome for reasons

I almost always browse with Firefox, because Google owns too much of my life already

my tablet is a pain to browse on because webpages load slow

…Chrome loaded that sucker real fast

…I am on an Android device

Google makes both Chrome and Android; Firefox is why Chrome doesn’t have a monopoly on the web browser market

MY, WHYEVER MIGHT FIREFOX RUN SLOW

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I was recommended DuckDuckGo as an alternative, but this doesn't save history At All (I cannot backbutton) and if I switch to another app for a moment it clears my cookies (I cannot stay logged in), so this browser and I are not gonna be friends—and I haven't even figured out if it plays nice with Tampermonkey yet!

I don't wanna go back to Waterfox (the reason I stopped using Waterfox in the first place is newest!Firefox fixed the issues with newer!Firefox that had me wanting old!Firefox back, and Waterfox I believe still operates like old!Firefox), I will not go back to Chrome, and…are there other options?

(alternately: Firefox is open source, so it should at least in theory be possible to make an app that is Firefox except for the minor detail that it doesn't tell Android it's Firefox, yes? beyond my abilities, of course, but…)

3 Sentence Ficathon! best fest